Codename: Shorty
“Get back here!”
The shopkeeper shouts as he chases after me, my legs churn like a jet engine, unfortunately for him, I can easily take the form of an Olympic track star or an eight-foot juggernaut of a man or shrink down to the size of a pea to avoid getting caught if I wanted to. This suit Techno made for me is a miracle, without it I just kind of shrink or stretch out of my clothes, I’ve ended up in a few awkward predicaments like that before. Oblivious, innocent child is what I go with once there’s enough distance between us and I find a crowd to blend in with. I stop by an ice cream stand; I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a bit of a sweet tooth. The shopkeeper doesn’t look twice as he runs by still yelling and bumping into bystanders. I’m sure he won’t miss this watch, much, just like this other poor sucker won’t miss one scoop of this golden brown butterscotch ice cream with a waffle cone while his back is turned. Not my fault such a temptation landed right in front of me, thanks universe. It’s the least they can do after all, as many helpless saps as I’ve saved fighting real crime. I make my merry way into a nearby alley, giving a few more licks to my dessert before morphing into a burly, bearded man in his mid-30’s and tossing the rest of my treat onto the ground.
Stealing is a guilty pleasure of mine, a secret I can never tell the team, they wouldn’t get it, the lot of do-gooders. Feels like I don’t fit in well anywhere, even with my fellow super-powered freaks, my imposter syndrome comes full force when I stand amongst them. My power is essentially a party trick, sure I can grow to the size of a building, but then I run the risk of stomping on the same people I’m trying to protect, so I mostly resort to more tame transformations while everyone else is flying and shooting energy beams and what have you. Getting my powers while in a coma did me no favors either. I had no belongings to account for, no family to visit and no memories of who I was before the day I woke, apparently my car rolled off the side of a damn cliff. That’s what I was told anyway, not sure how someone survives that. According to the nurses, I changed shape and size at least half a dozen times while I was out. I don’t know what I look like or who I am—so I become everyone else. Leg broken? I just turn into someone that is able-bodied, though if I change back into that person, that leg never had time to heal. Most annoyingly, when I change into someone else with powers, I don’t get theirs, what a fucking rip-off that is.
Three sketchy looking ruffians eye me as I walk down the alley. I could take them out before they knew what was happening, but personally I think I’ve seen enough excitement for the day, don’t need the team finding out and asking any questions either. I quickly duck into a dingy dive bar before they get any closer. The shopkeeper’s bell gives a faint ring as I enter; It’s dead inside, a sea of empty stools fill the room except for a lone drunkard that can barely keep his eyes open. The bartender welcomes me in without even looking up, he’s too busy hating his life decisions. It’s a wonder this place is even open at this time of day, perhaps that man keeps them in operation, The Secret Sin, I’ll say. I make my way to the restroom without saying a word, hands in my pockets. I wash my face in the mirror, looking up, before shifting my face to a young woman with an ample bosom and blue eyes, not bad. Again to an older woman with grey hair and wrinkles, then to the drunkard just outside, I try out a muscular body builder that’s way too veiny and then finally to my “normal” form. The face I was wearing when I woke up. It doesn’t matter what I look like, it doesn’t feel like me. I sigh and distract myself with the watch I “thrifted”, inspecting it closely. It’s gold, big, it ticks and it tocks, oh whatever. I give up after about three seconds and put it back in my pocket, I don’t really need it or even want it for that matter.
I wash my face again, my slightly above average ambiguous face, I’ve got long dark hair with a feminine softness to my skin, but my Adam’s apple is pronounced to say the least. I’m 5’8” or so with feet as flat as my chest. Not to mention some days I’m more resistant to a kick in the groin than others. I’m not sure which version is correct, if either are correct. I’m not even sure if this is an actual person or an amalgamation of people I used to know. That’s what I hate the most, not knowing. I shake the feelings right out of my head with a deeper sigh than the last, guess I’ll keep pretending shit doesn’t bother me. Maybe I will go kick some sketchy ruffian ass after all, forget about my issues for a little while. This bathroom stinks anyway, and so I make my way out, offering the bartender a nod and chuckling at the drunkard that is now fully passed out. I place the watch on the table next to his hand, he probably needs it more than I do. The bartender gives me a suspicious look, unsure if I was the same person that walked in since he didn’t bother to look my way when I came in. Just before I reach to open the door, someone from outside enters. The bell is somehow louder this time, ringing in my ears. Time stops and my heart sinks, this person in front of me, they have my face, the face I had when I woke up, how? Who? Before I can open my mouth, they gut check me, knocking me back into the surprisingly solid and rather painful wooden stools and tables. I sit up and rub my head, I can’t quite come up with anything to say, I thought I’d have more words for this moment. The bartender ducks behind the counter while the drunk patron continues their nap, mystery me meets their cocked hip with a hand to catch it. They look like me, but their demeanor is admittedly much more confident than mine. They look me up and down and their face reads unimpressed at what they see—ouch, guess they don’t own any mirrors. They squat down to meet my eyes, arms resting over their knees, they tilt their head slightly to the side and fix their lips to deliver their message in the most irritatingly condescending tone imaginable.
“You’ll be coming with me now darling.”